Day 3

It’s day three, and I’m at home. I really want to interact with my son, but after a few minutes, I feel incredibly fatigued, and I notice that I need to go lie down for a nap. I’m also struggling to read him books or chase him around, as he likes me too. I am struggling to read because I cannot focus on the words. My brain gets tired when trying to comprehend words, but I also have very blurred vision in my right eye. It is very difficult to focus, and I think this is causing the fatigue.

Another thing about my daughter is he loves to jump and dance, and he loves to do this while holding your hands and listening to some of his favorite songs. I’m trying to do this while sitting or being still, but he can tell that this is not the participation that he’s seeking. He also wants me to make car sounds while he drives his Hot Wheels, and this is hard to do without opening my mouth. It’s only day three; I need to keep telling myself this, but I feel like I am disappointing him.

I put on a large bandage on my forehead to tell him that I have an oucie. He seemed a little nervous, but was happy to interact with me. When I went to go take a nap, my mother-in-law took him back home. I told my husband I would leave that up to him whether or not he felt comfortable taking care of me and our baby together. I think he decided he needed one more day.

I slept a full night. I have a lot of swelling and pain behind my right eye, which makes it hard to read or see anything. I hope this is temporary. I’ve reached out to our neurosurgery team, and hopefully I will get a steroid or something to help with that.

Due to the decreasing vision changes, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to draw or make a painting. I might just go in line with some charcoal to keep the momentum going.

Other than the vision changes and headaches, it hurts to open my jaw more than a finger width. But I can drink smoothies, things out of a straw, yogurt, and of course, have coffee now, which brings Joy.

I truly hope that my son can come back this evening, and we can spend time together and snuggle. I miss him so much.

I think after a few days or maybe a week. I’ll start making weekly posts after this first week.